Repercussions Of A War
by saphire butterfly
Summary: When Severus discovers what Hermione has gone through because of the war, he promises to himself that he will do everything in his power to protect her for the rest of her life. He will never allow for harm to come near her again. Dark themes in beginning
1. Chapter 1

I stared at the walls, my eyes dead. Their grip on my hair was relentless, dragging me down the hall. Dirt collected in my wounds, stinging me. But the pain no longer bothered me, I deserved it, I needed it. They didn't tell me where we were going, but I didn't care. As long as I got to die soon.

They opened a cell door, the hinges squeaking and screaming in protest. They dragged me forward and with one last hit, they sent me flying into the cell. I waited for impact with the wall, praying for death. But a person blocked my way and I slammed into them. I was lucky enough to hit the floor though and I welcomed the darkness with open arms.

My back ached from keeping itself straight. My legs burned from being crossed for so long. My head ached from the lack of sleep. My heart was heavy from the thoughts plaguing my head. My shoulders hurt from being tense for so long. In other words, everything ached.

I looked up and opened my eyes as the cell door swung open. I've been waiting for this, for my death. Really, I'm not sure why it took them so long. Maybe the Dark Lord was trying to get me back. Well, if that was the case I'm glad I'll be dying in a minute.

I saw them through something at me. The object was large yet somehow still small. I knew it was useless to dodge it so I stayed in my spot and waited for it to hit me. A moment later, it slammed into me and I lost my breath.

As soon as I regained my breath I pushed the thing off of me and I planned on pushing it out of mind. Unfortunately, it groaned and rolled away from me. I contemplated for a moment if I should see what it was or not. Another groan made my decision.

Many may believe me to just be a heartless ex-potion professor death eater. And to some degree, they're right. But now that I have no masters, I plan to at least attempt to make up for the things I did in this life before death.

My body protested as I shifted and moved to inch on my knees over to the body. It was hardly breathing and was malnourished. The clothes were dirty and ripped and I saw plenty of blood. I could see this even in the dim light coming into the small cell.

I flipped the body over, refusing to look at the face for a moment, and began taking off the clothes. It was quickly revealed to be a woman with a once beautiful body. I squinted my eyes and found the cleanest bit of cloth and spat on it. I carefully cleaned the wounds, trying to get rid of as much dirt as possible. I pulled off the outer robe I was allowed to keep and wrapped it around her small body.

I sat back and crossed my legs. Final decision, should I see who it is? It won't make much difference, but I probably should. I might as well know the face of the person I saved. I sighed and leaned over her body to peer at her face, my back protesting once more.

I sat up straight with a silent gasp as I recognized the face. Why was she here? What did she do? How could she have done something bad enough to be stuck in here, and with me no less? I took a deep breath and leaned back down to peer at her face.

Hermione Granger. Smartest witch of her age, possibly smarter than most witches and wizards older than herself. Best friend of one Harry Potter. A stickler for the rules yet manages to break all of them. Probably not a single bad bone in her body. Now, I ask again, what the HELL is she doing here in Azkaban?

I sighed and sat back to lean against the wall. I closed my eyes and waited for her to wake up and explain. I was confused and tired, and I knew that this girl shouldn't be here. My mind conjured up all theories as I drifted into a light sleep.

I sat up slowly, my arms shaking with the effort to support my weakened body. I was nearly all the way up when my arms gave out and I fell to the ground. Arms stopped my decent before gently lowering me. I lay there for a moment, my eyes closed, as I regained my breath.

I nearly gasped when I looked at the face above me. Ex-professor Severus Snape, my old potions master. But I held in the gasp. All though this was a surprise, I had been through enough to hide emotions and to not be surprised about these things anymore anyways. Besides, this was part of the mission Dumbledore wanted me to do.

We stared at each other for a few moments before I attempted getting up again. I hid my pain and weakness much better, but I still couldn't quite do it. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against the wall with him, gently leaning me against his shoulder so that I wouldn't fall.

I carefully looked over to the girl beside me. She looked so young, though I knew her to be about twenty two years old. She was small and defenseless, it was impossible for there to be a logical reason that she was in here. It was merely a fluke, a mistake.

But as I waited for her to regain her breath, I doubted my thoughts. What if she really had done something? I knew how easily an intelligent person could hide their true selves, myself being one of them. But she couldn't hide that well. And besides, innocence is a nearly impossible emotion to replicate perfectly. And although it was broken and damaged, I could still see the innocence shining from her eyes. I shook my head slightly. I hadn't thought this much in the past four years. I looked back over as she began to speak.

"Hello professor. I would ask how you're doing, but seeing the environment, I can easily guess." She was interrupted by random bouts of coughing from either an over used or under used throat. I wasn't sure which was worse considering the war was still going on and a number of things could have happened. I didn't answer and waited for her to speak again. She seemed to understand quickly what I wanted.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here, huh?" I simply looked over to stare at her, rolling my head against the stony wall to do so. She gave a little bittersweet smile before going back to her previous dead and pained look. I'm not sure which I hated more. "Dumbledore's idea." my head snapped back over to her. My eyes were wide.

What was she talking about? I was suppose to be the only one who knew he was alive. It was the old mans idea not to tell anyone. It was his idea that making Potter angry and depressed would motivate him to kill the Dark Lord. So why was she talking about the reason she was here was because of Dumbledore? What was going on outside of this hell on Earth. My voice cracked slightly as I spoke.

"What are you talking about, Dumbledore's de-" She cut me off.

"No, he's not. He told me everything you two planned."

"Why?" She hesitated here. I was tempted to tell her it didn't matter and to go back to sleep, but this information needed to be dealt with now.

"He said that it would finish the war quicker if I understood everything and helped." I could see the pain in her face grow and her hesitance to continue had me concerned what the old man had forced her to do.

"What did he make you do?" I was growing more concerned the longer it took her to speak. She opened her mouth many times, about to speak, but stopping at the last moment. Instead, she finally lifted her arm and let the sleeve of my robe fall from her arm, revealing her left wrist.

I'm not sure how I missed it. It was large and covered nearly her entire forearm. Like my own pale skin, it stood out prominently, glaring at the world with its evil. The Dark Mark. The snake was lazily moving about, as it usually did when either the Dark Lord was upset or about to call a summons.

I looked back up into the girls face. She looked older with the dead look in her face, yet so much younger with all of the loss there. She was confused and scared, not knowing what she should do. Like myself when I first joined the Dark Lord. She was regretting doing it. But she probably didn't have a choice.

Sure, to anyone else it may have seemed that she didn't have to do it. But when Dumbledore 'convinced' you, you really didn't have any other option other than to do as he says. At least with the Dark Lord you knew what was going to happen if you disobeyed or failed. I cleared my throat and spoke to the frightened girl as if she were a wild animal, calmly and slowly.

"Miss Granger, while I perfectly understand what you must be feeling, why did you have to do it?" The look on her face would have made a lesser man shrink back in fear. But seeing as I was not a lesser man, I merely tensed my shoulders.

"No, you have no idea what I'm feeling! You were not coerced by an old man-whom you knew was controlling everyone and their lives, making unnecessary sacrifices-to join the Dark Lord! You have no idea what it's like to go through that and knowing the entire time he was right, knowing you had no other choice other than destroy your life and betray your friends!" I slowly let my mask fall from my face during her speech, allowing my emotions to show.

My head dropped, my chin resting on my chest. My lids lowered slightly to cover my eyes a little. I let every emotion-pain, depression, betrayal-show through. I was depressed with the choices I had made in life, regretting the things I had done, wishing I had done something different. My life was full of pain, no happiness. I didn't deserve anything in life, only pain. I had come to accept that, the pain increasing because of it.

I felt betrayed. That damn old man promised me that as long as I did what he said, no one would have to feel what I feel every day. But looking at this girl, I knew he had betrayed me. He promised me no one would feel this, that no one else would hate themselves, not wanting to look in the mirror and see the face looking at them.

"Please, why did he make you do it?" My voice sounded terrible, even in my own ears. It was hard to hear and it sounded as if I had been crying. I would have flinched, but I was far pass the point of caring. She waited for a few minutes before finally answering.

"He said that with the anger and sadness of my betrayal, Harry would be even more motivated to kill the Dark Lord. He said that Harry would be guaranteed to win the war if I did it. I didn't want to, really. I was so scared. But I did, because I knew it would be the best thing to do. People had suffered long enough because of that monster and this would ensure the final battle would happen soon."

Her voice trailed off at the end, cracking. It was pitiful, she sounded ready to burst into tears the entire time. My anger at Dumbledore increased.

How could he? She was but a child. A sweet young girl with the rest of her life ahead of her. She could've stayed safe in the muggle world, but instead she came to the wizarding world, even after learning the dangers. And then, when she is only recently out of school, he forces her to do something like this.

I know what it's like as a new member. They are harshest on you. You must kill more, protect yourself more. If you're a woman, you really have no other choice other than to be raped. I flinched at the idea of her being raped by disgusting older men. She was most likely raped by the Dark Lord himself since she was Harry Potters best friend. I froze as another thought came to mind.

Every recruit must do something, usually killing someone, in order to join. And since she was indeed Potter's best friend, her kill probably hurt that much more. What did she do? Did the old man really make her kill someone close to her? And if so, who did she kill? I looked back to her.

"Just one more question, I promise." I waited for her to look at me with those dead golden eyes before I continued. "Who did you have to kill?"

I immediately regretted asking as soon as the last word left my lips. Her bottom lip trembled and her eyes showed her own regret. She buried her head into my shoulder and wrapped her slender arms around my own, pressing herself tightly to me. She dry sobbed, refusing to cry and answered with a muffled reply. I lifted her head slowly, scared of her answer.

"Ron, Ron Weasley." My hand dropped from her chin and she buried her back into my shoulder, letting the tears fall now.

I was numb. There was absolutely no way she would have chosen him herself, Dumbledore had to of chosen. I may not have liked the boy much, but I understand how much he probably meant to her. How could that damn bloody man do this to the sweet little girl crying on my shoulder? I was beginning to question who was worse, Dumbledore or the Dark Lord. Dumbledore was resorting to The Dark Lord's methods, even manipulating people's lives and confusing people. Again, at least with the Dark Lord you knew what you were getting yourself into.

I looked back down to the girl who was no asleep against my arm. Her tiny hands barely gripped my wrist now and her face was pale and tear streaked. I shifted a little and pulled her into my lap, resting her head against my chest. One of my hands wrapped firmly behind her and the other resting over her legs. I leaned my head back against the wall.

It may seem odd to see me doing this, but that's alright. No one else would understand. No one else would understand what we had been through. I had always wanted someone to comfort me, to truly understand how terrible it all was, to understand how much I truly hated myself. I never expected to actually have that happen, not wanting anyone else to experience this. But now that someone was going through the same thing, I was going to do everything in my power to protect her.

**A/N: ok, this is the beginning of the story that's been drifting about, forgotten. So, I hope you like it. Yes, the story will mostly be in Snape's POV, I will have some Hermione, but mostly Snape. Thank you for reading.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or it's characters. **


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a few weeks since she had been in this cell with me. She didn't talk much after that first night, only saying what was needed. She avoided looking at me, preferring to stare blankly at the walls or floor. I was desperate to know what was going on out there, to know how much had happened while I was here. But I didn't want to push her. But things were getting worse the longer she was in here, she was growing darker. Or maybe I was just growing happier with someone here and she was just seeming more depressed everyday.

But no matter what the reason was, I needed to help her. I decided today was the day to pull her out of her depression. I shuffled over to her, my entire body protesting at the movements. I ignored my body, gritting my teeth against the pain and sat down beside her.

I waited for a few moments, regaining my breath and getting my body under control. I rolled my head to the side to look at her face. It was blank, not a single emotion or thought crossing across. How could this be the girl I had taught for seven years? The girl I knew never stopped thinking and although she could hide her emotions, you always knew she was feeling something. But now, this girl-no woman-sat here, nothing being shown. Her hair wasn't even bushy anymore. Her hair fell down in gross, greasy strands, barely having a curl. Her eyes were dead, darker in color, not showing the intelligence she used to hold.

I flinched slightly, wishing she would suddenly be the girl I knew. But wait, I never really knew her, did I? for all I knew, she really could have always been this dark. I shook my head of those thoughts. Even if she was always this broken, I was going to fix her. Even if it was the last thing I did.

"Miss Granger, look at me." She did nothing for a moment, simply sat their, ignoring me. I was opening my mouth to reissue my demand, but stopped as her head slowly turned to look up at me. I looked down into her eyes, those dark, empty eyes. I mentally flinched.

"Miss Granger, would it help you if I said I know exactly what you're going through? Would it help if I said I won't judge you? Because I would never judge what you do. Would it help if I said you could use my shoulder to cry on?" I felt so out of character, this is so odd, so bizarre. I mentally shook my head at the thoughts and focused on the woman looking up at me. She stayed quiet for some time before answering.

"Professor, would it help _you_ if I said I know exactly what you're going through? Would it help _you_ if I said I won't judge you? Would it help _you_ if I said you could use _my _shoulder to cry on?" I only waited a moment, for I already knew the answer.

"Yes." She wasted no time in pulling herself to me with shaky arms. I reached out to help her, only realizing that I would be no help and pulled my arms back to me. She sat beside me and wrapped her arms around my waist. I settled my arms around her shoulders and buried my nose into her hair. She snuggled into my side and not a moment later her body was shaking with repressed sobs. I'm not positive how long we stayed like this, her crying into my side and me silently allowing tears to escape my eyes.

The following weeks were much easier. She didn't look so dead anymore. I tried everything I had to make her happier. While I knew it was working, it wasn't working as well as I hoped it would. I gave her some of my food, trying to put some weight on her. But she would notice and stop eating altogether until I ate my food. She was a stubborn little thing.

I could do so much more for her if we were out of Azkaban, but that was impossible at the moment. Apparently, the war wasn't over just yet. It was much closer to being finished, but not close enough. I wasn't sure how much longer she would survive, I needed to get her out of here.

Many weeks passed by. She didn't stare at the walls all the time. Sometimes she would talk to me in a quiet, hushed voice. I would eagerly answer her, wanting to drag her out of her shell. It was on one night like those that something happened.

The guards were running down the halls shouting so loud it hurt to listen to them. A few would pause to stare in at us. I was anxious of their reasons for doing so. I held her close to me, not allowing her to be seen. Finally, as the yelling seemed to only increase, a few guards stopped by our cell. The hesitated only a moment before opening the cell and walking towards us.

I held her closer to my body, not wanting her to be harmed more than she already was. The three guards looked down at us with guilty expressions that only made me more anxious. The one in the front began to talk, his gravely voice echoing in the dirty air around us.

"Sir, we apologize for all that we have done to you. Really, if we had known that you were a good guy, we wouldn't have done it. Seriously! We really are sorry." I stiffened and pulled Miss Granger even closer to myself, confused beyond belief. Did this mean the war was over? Merlin I hoped so. I watched as the guard that had spoken crouched down in front of me.

"Sir, we'll take her for you. We have to take both of you to Mister Dumbledore. That man truly is-" I cut off his rambling.

"You will not touch her, vermin. And that man, Dumbledore, is a monster. Now, tell me where said monster is." I growled out at him. I was furious. That man had the gall to want to speak to me? He knew I was going to try to rip his throat out on sight. He knew he had betrayed me for the last time. I held Miss Granger tighter to me as I stood us both up, leaning against the wall as I did so.

"Sir, I don't think-" He cut himself off as he saw the glare on my face. "I mean, of course. We have to take you to a floo place, Mister Dumbledore is at Hogwarts, sir." I growled at his attempt to get on my good side. I followed him as he walked out of the cell and down the hall, holding Miss Granger tightly to myself. She stumbled along, not used to walking.

I walked as quickly as I could over to the fireplace and grabbed a handful of floo powder, dragging her along. I threw it in and walked in with her, ignoring the guards trying to get me to wait. I yelled out Dumbledore's office, Hogwarts. A moment later I stumbled out of the fireplace into the room, falling to my knees. I dragged Miss Granger down with me.

The room looked exactly as it had before Dumbledore had "died". His eyes were twinkling, looking down at us happily, as if he hadn't destroyed our lives. I was satisfied as my glare of pure hatred and loathing doused the infernal twinkle. I pulled myself and Miss Granger onto our feet and walked to a chair. I sat down heavily and pulled her to sit down on top of me. She was to exhausted to fight me and merely sat limply in my lap. I regarded her sadly before focusing my cold gaze onto the man sitting across from me.

"Severus, my boy, it is so good to see you! I am so sorry you had to go to that awful place." My nostrils flared as my breathing grew harder. How dare this filthy piece of trash lie to me! He continued talking as if he didn't see my anger. "Now, I have a few requests to make of you."

I didn't move as he spoke. He seemed to hold some sort of control over me. I hated this man! I had no want to listen to him, much less do him some favors. So why couldn't I tell him to fuck off and go burn in a hole? I knew that whatever he had to say wouldn't be good, but I couldn't help myself as I listened to him.

"Firstly, I want you to take up the Potions position again. I think we should also take Miss Granger back to Azkaban. With her betrayal still weighing heavily on Mister Potter's shoulders, he will be more inclined to round up the rest of the Death Eaters. I also want you to start brewing up some potions for the hospital wing, we are running low. I need you to find Lucius Malfoy and bring him into custody, I believe he is to strong for dear Mister Potter."

He continued rambling, most of which I didn't catch. I had stopped listening as soon as he said he wanted to put Miss Granger back into Azkaban to encourage Potter. My grip had unconsciously tightened around the before mentioned woman, my grip was vice like and I doubted anyone would have been able to break my grasp. The man was insane. A raving lunatic. I wanted him dead. How dare he even think about putting this broken girl back into that place? She would die! And I vowed to myself that I would protect her for the rest of my life, I would never allow harm to come to her. I looked up and interrupted the mans speech, a flash of anger flashing quickly across those blue eyes.

"Dumbledore, you're a vile piece of trash that I wish to squish beneath my feet. The only reason you are still alive, old man, is because of this broken little girl you destroyed. I will accept the Potions Professor position and I will restock the potions in the Hospital Wing. But that is all I will do for you. I refuse to do your bidding any longer." I stood up, holding her. I was proud of myself for being able to stand up straight without falling or becoming dizzy. I looked back at the man-no, monster. "I will take my leave now. She will stay with me." I turned quickly, once more proud of myself, and stalked from the room.

I immediately leaned against the wall and allowed my breath to come out in harsh puffs once we left the office. Miss Granger looked up at me with curious eyes. I was to tired from the recent moment of rebelion to be happy of this vast improvement of showing emotion.

I began walking again, the sweet young girl resting quietly in my arms, and headed to the dungeons and my room. The portrait quickly allowed me entrance and I walked slowly to my room. I was silently thanking the house elves for cleaning up my rooms and keeping it dust free-that would be bad for Miss Granger's health. I laid her in my bed and kneeled next to her on the floor.

"Miss Grang-"

"Hermione. Please, call me Hermione Professor." I smiled slightly, though her closed eyes didn't catch it. She was becoming closer, that was a good sign. I restarted.

"Hermione, I'm going to clean you up and feed you in a moment, but first, I have something to make clean between us." She looked up at me curiously and this time I smiled my approval of her emotion. She was quickly opening up the longer we were away from Azkaban and any person. I quickly shook my head of the thoughts and began speaking again.

"Although I have never wished it, you and I have experienced some of the same things. You are damaged and hurt, as am I. You are wary of the world, as I have been for most of my life. You and I are alone in our pain. And now that I know you are the same as myself, I refuse to let you go. You are from now on mine. I will fix you, you will be happy, you will once again have trust in people. I am going to protect you for the rest of my life, I will never allow harm to come to you again.

I would ask if that is alright. I should ask if it is alright. But I'm not. You have no choice in the matter. I will take care of you. No one will ever sway me from my decision. You are mine. Mine to protect and fix. You. Are. Mine."

My gaze was intense as I stared her in the eye. She looked back at me, unblinkingly. I saw the understanding in her eyes. I waited, waited for what she would say. Although I would help and protect her no matter what, I would prefer her to be willing. Finally, she opened her mouth.

"Of course, Pr-Severus." My mouth twitched into a smile and my face softened. "As long as you know I shall do the same for you. I will protect you with my life and I will fix you. You are the only person in the world who could ever understand me, and I you."

I stood, my hand lingering by her cheek. I smiled down to her, knowing she accepted what I said and I accepted what she said. I walked over to my cabinents and searched for potions to start healing her with. I glanced over my shoulder to look at her. She was sleeping, the events of the day to much for her. Her hair was spread around her limply and her skin was grey. I turned back around to my search.

Yes, this is what I must do. I must fix her. I must protect her. She will never be harmed again. I will never see depression and self loathing in her eyes again. She was mine. I never had a lot of things in life. But what I did have, I protected fiercely. She was no exception.

**A/N: Ok, I hope you guys like this. I know, it's still all angst. And don't worry, Dumbledore has yet to pay!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or it's characters.**


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